She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you win again, gameday.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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