mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
