I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Tell her she can't have a vagina
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
