he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
