Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
