listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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