my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
