Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
