someone threw a dead crab at me
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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