How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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