What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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