I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
