Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
