i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
