he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
