I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
