waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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