There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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