would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
