Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
