I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We're facebook friends in real life
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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