I could have mohawked her pubes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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