Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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