All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
