it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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