Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
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