Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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