capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
