I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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