apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
