What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
