...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Will exercising make me less horny?
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