Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
