There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
