it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
