i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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