even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
