I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
