omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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