Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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