He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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