what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
