Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize