Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
