You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
