i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
