god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
