Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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