I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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