If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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