WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
