Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
