I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
