discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
